I went to GMV today for my dg’s community project. From 2 really entertaining 9 year-old boys who made me smile the entire time i was with them to a really sweet girl who shared her pear with me and made sure that no one else touched those slices of pear…the people there are just so full of love, wonderment, awe and joy that it puts people like me to shame. Not only is my world view so superficial, today made me realise how cynical and ‘harden’ i really am. It’s a jarring juxtaposition indeed.
But that’s not the point.
It is the trust they place on the people around them that left me thinking. They trusted me when i fed them…not worrying if i’d feed them rancid food; they held my hand when we were strolling outside, trusting me to guide their steps. I can’t find a word to describe how i feel or what i think but the closest words that fit are respect or envy.
Respect for their faith in people and Envy because i lack that.
To take it further, that kinda trust and faith should be present in my spiritual walk as well. I can’t see God, but i trust him to feed me and guide me. I take his hand, trusting that he’d walk me through life’s temptations and trials; finding comfort in that assurance that i’m not alone weathering life’s storms. I can’t see the things that he hands me in life, but i trust that whatever it is, all things work out for my good.
After such a fantastic day of laughter and smiles, i should be feeling at peace, thinking happy thoughts…but somehow, i’m left feeling quite empty, hollow and cold..i wonder why.
Whatever it is, it doesn’t feel good.
Dear God, please make it go away, if not, then can you please explain it to me??
–melo
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